your heart is an empty room

I forgot to write yesterday! I hate that it is so easy to slack off and not write when I feel like I have nothing to say.  But I always have something to say, so it's dumb for me to think otherwise.  No, really, today this kid on my swim team said very loudly, "Celia. never. stops. talking." I'm hoping this is false, but you never know.  Maybe I should try to talk less.  Listen more.  I don't know.

I want to be a good listener, more than anything.  But when I get nervous I just default on what I know well: myself.  And I show people I understand by relating what they are going through to something that has happened to me.  But does this make me appear self-centered? Am I self-centered simply because this is the way my brain functions?

What a disconcerting thought.  I like to think of myself as understanding and empathetic, but if the only understanding that I can come to is the understanding when I connect my own experiences to what has happened, does that make me short-sighted? I don't want to be short-sighted.  But is not wanting enough to make it true?

I'm asking too many questions.  I feel bad that I forgot to post yesterday, and that I am not really doing anything at all in terms of my isearch, not even writing every day which is basically the only thing I had planned on doing until, you know, the week before it's due.  But I can't even do that.  Where the hell has all my self-discipline gone? It's like I submitted it with my college applications -- but I have yet to send my applications to my top two schools.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

In other news (since this post is pretty uncohesive as it is), this website is pretty cool.  I loooooove me some graphic design, and I love me some beautiful information.

(click to enlarge)

(click to enlarge)