greater than the sum of our parts

"Those awful things are survivable, because we ARE as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be. When adults say, ‘Teenagers think they are invincible’ with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don’t know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail."
-- John Green, Looking For Alaska

I have this gross obsession lately with quotes.  I read John Green books and I write down quotes that I love from them.  I read The Importance of Being Earnest and I write in the margins quotes that make me laugh and that I want to remember.  I'm even reading this weird lesson-type book about writing that my teacher gave me (and that I am actually very much enjoying), and I have three notebook pages of quotes scribbled down after the first 30 pages.

Why do I select these quotes? Is it because they put into words something that I have never been able to, or because they put into words something that I have never before thought about? Is it because they are beautiful and eloquent and I like the way the words sound together? Or is it just because they resonate inside of me so well?

I write down the quotes that make me smile, laugh, cry, think.  The ones that make my stomach do cartwheels because this resonance is just so beautiful.  The ones that fill a hole inside of me I didn't even notice was there until it wasn't anymore.  I write them down, and I read them over and over again, and I think about them for as little or as long as I need.  And they become a part of me, just like the book's characters and symbols and themes become a part of me.

So am I simply a vessel composed of words that are not my own? Perhaps; perhaps not.  But I like to think that simply the fact that I have chosen these particular combinations of words is enough to contain at least a part of Celia; a part of me.

Also, if you are reading this, thank you for making me different from that little girl who cannot make her voice be heard.  I love you.

"After all this time, it still seems to me like ‘straight and fast’ is the only way out. But I choose the labyrinth. The labyrinth blows, but I choose it.”